i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
