these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
