Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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