yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
