omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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