You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
