Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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