alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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