she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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