Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
