her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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