at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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