Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
