i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
