Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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