Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
