just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
