don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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