Me too!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
