thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
