yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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