The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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