There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
