I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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