It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
