butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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