am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
