I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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