Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
