i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
