I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
