Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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