That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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