its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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