Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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