He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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