he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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