5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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