sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
