Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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