do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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