You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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