Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
