It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
