You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
