Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
