ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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