I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
