why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
