Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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