I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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